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Hey listeners welcome back to another episode of Lets Just Talk About It Podcast. What if you could learn from someone who has experienced the dark world of drug addiction and crime, and come out the other side stronger than ever? Join us in this powerful conversation with Calvin Parrish, aka Sweet Pea, as he shares his journey growing up in the Cavalry Manor section of Portsmouth, Virginia, and how he found himself entangled in addiction and incarceration. Listen to how Sweet Pea's desire to please others led him astray, the immense impact of his father's passing, and the unwavering love and support from his family, particularly his mother.
In the second half of our discussion, Sweet Pea offers valuable advice for overcoming addiction and discovering your own self-worth. His emphasis on self-love and learning from our mistakes will inspire and motivate anyone struggling to heal and recover. Don't miss Sweet Pea's compelling message on the importance of leaving labels behind and surrounding ourselves with positive influences. Tune in and be transformed by Sweet Pea's heartfelt and inspiring story called My Life...
Talk Too You Soon.
Facebook: Calvin Parrish
Hey, welcome back to another episode of Let's Just Talk About It podcast. I'm your host, chuck, and if you're here for the first time, this platform was created to give genuine people just like you an opportunity to share a portion of your life's journey. So, with that being said, i'm excited to have special guests, my friend Calvin Parrish, on with me today, and on this episode he shares his experience growing up in the Cavalry Manor section of Portsmouth, virginia, and also his past experience with incarceration and drug addiction. So, hey, without further delay, go and grab your husband, your wife, your children, or even call a friend and gather around and listen to my conversation with Calvin on Let's Just Talk About It podcast. Hey, let's jump right in. Let's just talk about it podcast Today. I have Calvin Parrish on with me today. We call him Sweepee. He's from Portsmouth, virginia, man. thank you so much for being a part of this episode on Let's Just Talk About It podcast. I really appreciate you. P Yeah.
Speaker 2:I appreciate you, man Anytime.
Speaker 1:Yes, sir, how you doing today. I'm blessed How did your day go today.
Speaker 2:Well, let me start like this Just got out of the rehab two days ago, wow, and I've been with my family, you know, and I had to go to a meeting this morning and came back and helped my mama with the groceries in the house, wow, I'm here, got you, man.
Speaker 1:I believe everybody has a story to share about how life was for them growing up. Some are good and some are not so good. So I love to jump right into my interviews to have those genuine conversations with genuine people just like yourself, man. So how was it for you growing up in Portsmouth? Everybody got a different experience about P-town, so how was it for you?
Speaker 2:Man, it was everything Mm-hmm. Mom dad and I was both on work. We tried to give us everything that we wanted as long as we played the sports and the grades was right. You know, growing up out of Cavalier Mountain, if you didn't play sports you really didn't have nobody to play with, right, you know. So we tried to play all the sports because they had all the sports out of Cavalier Mountain, right, it was a great place back then Absolutely, man.
Speaker 1:So how was it for you? You know we get grown and we feel like. you know we're grown enough to lead a house and do our own thing. How was that for?
Speaker 2:you, man. Instead of following my father, i followed the guys with the rims on their cars, and that was the wrong thing to do. I wish I wouldn't have never done it. I wish I would have followed my father's footsteps, you know Right.
Speaker 1:What was your father's footsteps, though? You know like what was the difference between you having a nice car, because I remember that car Right.
Speaker 2:You know he was in the out Right, my dad, you know he always worked Right. You know he was in the neighborhood And then, by the time I come along, because I'm a Leak baby, he was working at the railroad and both of them was good jobs at the time. You know, still, the railroad was still a good job. But instead of me following him, thinking that he's older and you know what I mean I wanted to follow the guys with the nice cars and sounds. I got it, thinking they cool, you know, and by following them it took me to out there trying to sell drugs. You know what I'm saying. And by me selling drugs I'm a people pleaser. So I had a lot of friends you know what I'm saying Got you. So I got to do a lot more than what the average person got to do, because I got to look out for everybody.
Speaker 1:You know Well, you felt like you had to look out for everybody.
Speaker 2:I felt that I had to look out for everybody And by me doing that, it made me start doing it, testing the drugs out and messing with this girl and that girl and the drugs Man. The time went so fast because, messing around with the drugs, i'm in the projects, i'm getting locked up back to back and my father had passed away. When my father passed away, instead of me straightening up, it just made me get worse. And I have an older brother and an older sister, but my brother had went to prison too. So I felt that I had to try to hold it down, but not the right way And it never worked. You know everything I ever accomplished from selling drugs. I just get locked up and it took away, no matter what it was if it was clothes, cars, whatever it always get took away. So I had to start all over. So, going through that, it just made me use more drugs. Use more drugs. You know what I'm saying. And from that point of using the drugs, it got me to doing things that I didn't want to do. Far as robbing, stealing, you know, anything that an addict could do I'd do, and that would cost me today, because I should have way more than what I have, but I have a loving mom that prays for me every day. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1:Yeah, shout out to Ms Parish.
Speaker 2:Yeah, i got a loving mom that prays for me every day, man, and I know her man, you know. That's why I'm telling my story, right.
Speaker 1:You talk about pleasing people, man. What does that look like when you say that? Because you never know who's listening, man, because sometimes we do a lot of things and think we just doing it, but we're really pleasing people. So what did that look like when you did it?
Speaker 2:You know the people. pleasing, i please everybody around me, far as my family and the so-called friends that I thought I had. You know what I'm saying, but at the same time I just don't like seeing people hurt. You know, if they're struggling, if I can help them I would, but at the same time I won't happen with me.
Speaker 1:Like your lawyer to a fault.
Speaker 2:Right, yeah, you know, my loyalty runs deep with them streets.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:But the streets don't have no loyalty to me And it took me to be 50 years old to understand that. Like I said, i wasn't happy with me And I didn't understand that. I said I say my prayers but I'm still not happy. I'm not happy with Pete, who I am. You know what I'm saying. So I had told my mother I'm going to go ahead and go to a rehab. She was like huh? I was like, yeah, i'm going to go ahead and go to a rehab. She said what about your job? I said, man, it ain't about nobody right now, it's about me. Yeah, You know what I'm saying, right? And she said, well, you know, i got you back, you know 100%. And I went to a place in the mountains called Gailax And up there, you know, i had the detox off of the dope, the crack, the methadone. So I went through it a little bit. So I called home and said, mom, the day I'm hurting, i ain't feeling good. And she said, well, listen here, you in a rehab, you at a place that got all the medical attention. It's nothing that I can do. I'm already sending my prayers to you, right? You're not going to call me crying because you go to the jail and they don't give you nothing And you go through it. You can do it. Just go ahead and do it. You ain't got to call me and cry out. You know what I'm saying. So that's when I hung up the phone. I didn't call her no more the whole time I was up there. But I called my sister and told my sister you know what I'm saying And what I did was told my sister don't tear her. When I was coming home And my sister was at my mom's house when I got out the van And I said, look in the house, man, she jumped up screaming and hollering. Now she walked with a cane. My sister said we on the weather cane. She had the cane since you've been home.
Speaker 1:You know what?
Speaker 2:I'm saying, well, yeah, man, let's say, with the drugs I missed a lot of things And my mom had an appreciation service at the church And I just missed it. I had just missed it And it really touched me because my mom is 83. And she don't play no games with me, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1:Right, my parents never played games.
Speaker 2:No, she never played no games for real. But I got a little cold And she been on me like, so where you been at What you been doing, you know what I mean. I'm like mom, i ain't been doing nothing. I went to the baseball game and watched My little nephew played baseball And you know I ain't been doing nothing. I said I parked my car in the driveway so you can pull in. I ain't even going nowhere, i'm just chilling, i'm staying home. She was like, ok, well, we'll see. We'll see. You know what I mean, but that's just a tough love that she gave me.
Speaker 1:Let's go back, man. I do remember your dad in the garage area He'd be sitting down, Mr Paris man.
Speaker 2:Right The peep.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it touched me when I heard about his passing. Does that still affect you to the day?
Speaker 2:It did At first it would make me go back and do different stuff, but right now I know that this the sweet pee that he want right here, this the sudden that he want. You know I really did everything I was supposed to do, but when it comes to them drugs, then drugs all to your mind. Yeah, you know what I mean. I'm really a good person at heart, absolutely. But, like I said, the drugs are all to your mind. And running out there with them, guys, is still using it and doing it. I can't do it because I'm not strong enough to do it Right. You know what I'm saying. So, with the things that he taught me and the things that my mom taught me, the mores and the principles that they instilled in me, i never used it in them streets, because the mores and principles are not the same in the streets. You know what I'm saying? Not at all, man. Man, the streets ain't nothing. And it took me a long time to understand the hurt that I was doing to them besides myself, the hurt that I was doing to them, the trust, everything that your mom and dad instilled in them Right? So I take it one day at a time. now, man, that's all I can do, absolutely.
Speaker 1:I'm proud of you, man, yeah, so I'm going to bring a name up to you, man Popeye Man. Yeah, popeye was like your right-hand man. Yeah, with my right hand man. Yes, sir, let's talk about Popeye man. When you found out about his loss, how was that to you, you know, because we lose a lot of people, lose a lot of good friends, man, so how?
Speaker 2:did that affect you? Well, i was at my sister's house out Charles Town And my sister was like you need to sit down for a minute. I was like sit down for what. She was like you need to go around the way because something happened to Popeye. I said I just went and seen Popeye like three weeks ago.
Speaker 1:You know what I mean.
Speaker 2:He was about to come home And I was like he all right. So my sister was like you just need to go around his house. So when I go around the house I see all the cars. When I go in the front door I see his grandmother and then his mom. So his mom was crying and just hugged me and was like he gone. I was like what? Yeah, you know what I'm saying, what happened. But with them drugs. The drugs don't have you grieving the way that you supposed to that you should You know what I'm saying. So because of that, i just did more and more of the To numb it. To numb it, you know what I'm saying. And it didn't hit me. Hit me until I got incarcerated. You know, when I got incarcerated I went to the fields. When I went to the fields and I was up in the mountain and I was thinking about him, like he was sitting there talking to me, it just made me break down and cry. Because the thing that I regret is when they said is there anyone that would like to say anything At the funeral? At the funeral, yeah, and I didn't get up and say nothing because I was afraid. You know what I'm saying. I listen a lot but I don't talk too much unless I'm with my little circle. You know what I mean. And I didn't say nothing. That right there really hurt me to this day. And I sat at the casket and told him I was like man, i couldn't get up and say that. Man, i couldn't get up and say that. I wanted to, but I couldn't get up because I didn't think that I would sound right, you know. But today I don't care how I sound, you know what I'm saying. Yeah, i'm going to let it be known. However, i feel You know what I'm saying And I think that that's been poisoning me too. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1:Holding back.
Speaker 2:Because I didn't write, not letting it out. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, but that's the only thing that I regret Not saying that You know what I'm saying. Yeah, not saying that they feel me.
Speaker 1:Yeah, i had saw him when I was at a camp in prison, right, and he had just got transferred And the next thing I know, they said he was gone. That messed me up a little bit, man, because you can still see his face. You know what I mean Exactly. Yeah, wow, p man. If you could go back, man, and talk to your younger self, what would you tell them to prepare them for now?
Speaker 2:Man, i would tell them the nicknames. Yeah And all that. You don't have to live up to it. You know, unless you're doing something positive.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:But if you're doing anything negative, you don't have to live up to it, and you got to take it one day at a time. The drugs, the games and all that, that's out the question. That, would I tell myself. That's just out the question, even though I'm not in a game or anything like that. But being incarcerated, you're going to be around on me, right, but that's out the question, man. But all that negativity stuff, you don't need it. You won't raise like that, right, stay away from it, stay away from it. Yeah, this is another thing that I used to do Once I started hanging in them projects I seen where you know, the older brother or the younger brother got to take care of the sister, got to make sure they get Christmas because the mother might get on drugs.
Speaker 1:You, know Right.
Speaker 2:Right, it was never a father around And I was like dang, but that's cool. you know what I'm saying. I ain't never had to go through it because I always had my mom Right Right And my dad. You know what I'm saying. But when you grew up, with everything, you take it for granted, and my mom always told me she was like please don't let me have to come identify your body. Wow, out there in the projects. You don't belong out there. We work hard every day, so you don't have to be out there And that's the first place you want to go. You know what I mean? Mm-hmm. And I didn't understand it then because we were supposed to be having fun at the time. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, being in the projects, all the girls go, like you, because you still have a lot of money, you still have a lot of money You know what I mean. Yeah, yeah, you know what I'm saying. You got the nice car.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:You people got your dressing good, but in the projects They dressing themselves, their parents is not doing the things that our parents do. Our parents is putting the clothes on us You know what I'm saying. And after a while all them clothes and stuff you just be a dressed up trash can After a while. That's deep. Say that one more time, man You be a what A dressed up trash can That's deep B? Yup, That's what I was.
Speaker 1:Never heard it like that. a dressed up trash can Look at good on the outside, but miserable.
Speaker 2:Miscible on the inside Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yup, that's deep Man. we see a lot of young guys, man, like doing what we used to do, right? What would you say to them if you had a chance, one on one, to say something that would impact this life? What would you tell them?
Speaker 2:If the young guy knew me I'd tell him man, look at me now I'm 50 years old, i done been a federal prison, i done been a state prison, i done been in rehab and everything. And it comes from doing what you're doing now Selling the drugs. After a while you will start using the drugs Hopefully not, but don't let them come from that. But jail, prisons and death, you know For real. That's exactly what I tell them And I hope you understand what I'm saying.
Speaker 1:You've experienced it, though, man. You've been there, done it. You know, yup, you've been there, done it. P Man, i always respected you, man. You was a good dude man for real.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know you my man. Yeah, you a brand.
Speaker 1:Yes, sir, yes sir. Hey, what was the car you had, man, the.
Speaker 2:Delta 88. Yes sir, baddest counter block. Yes, i try to put everybody in it, you sure did You let me drive it?
Speaker 1:Yeah, go and take the car. Yup, go ahead. Yeah, man. So what did the name Sweepie come from? We used to call you Sweepie PDO. Where did it come from?
Speaker 2:Right Sweepie came from my mama you know That's a childhood name when I first was born And my people from Georgia.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:OK, one of my cousins would come down here and something. So one of my cousins was like no, i don't want to go with my brother named Carl, my sister named Carl. I don't want to go with Carl. I'm going to take my little cousin with me, because all the girls that hang with my sister you know what I mean are messing with my brother. All of them come to me and play with me. You know what I mean. Right, want to touch me and his cheeks so fat, and you know what I mean. Just that and other. So they just started saying Sweepie, sweepie. Ok, wow, Yeah. But everybody in the family got a pee. You know what I mean. My sister, paula, my mama they call her my pee. My daddy was big pee. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, i was Sweepie, but my mama and she really don't call me that She called me Sweep Man. Sweep Man Because I used to Yeah, because I used to get into everything You know what I'm saying And she be like Sweep, sweep, sweep Man. You know what I'm saying. So that's what she called me. Ok, you know what I'm saying. But that PD all came from the streets. Yeah, you know that was the poison person. Yeah, for real, for real, got you. That's why I say the nickname man, don't worry. Yeah, they don't matter. Yeah, you can't live up to them. Yeah, yeah, and God, that's just a name. Yeah, that ain't who you are, though You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1:Man, you talking good today, man, Yeah, that's just a name, That's right, wow, wow. So, man, let's talk about you coming off of heroin And the day they got fitting all in it. You know what I'm talking about. That man Somebody may be using, or maybe looking at somebody and thinking it's fun. You know what I mean. Right, talk about how that feels coming off of that stuff, man, listen, man, talk about it.
Speaker 2:Coming off of it, man, listen, when I came completely Off of it, it make you don't want to eat, yeah, it make you your bones hurt You using the bathroom over and over and over again, right, and I couldn't sleep. I'm talking about no sleep at all for four days straight. Wow, you know, that was making me. That was making me go crazy. You know what I'm saying. And I used to tear the. I would happen that I was in the, where I was at right, because they had nurses and stuff, and I just used to sit down and cry. You know, i can't sleep. I ain't been asleep in three days. I ain't been asleep, you know. And the lady used to say, listen, you're doing good, you're doing great. She just kept on pushing me You go to your eye. Then they gave me some type of medicine. When they gave me the medicine, it made me go to sleep. But when I wake up it had my eyes all puffed in. I ain't look like myself. So I went back to and told her I was like man, y'all just keep the medicine, i just go through it. They don't need to be substituting one for another. You know, i came up here to get clean and I want to be cleaner every time, you know, but they really helped me with the prayers and them. I didn't go through half the stuff that I go through If I was locked up, right, right. And tomorrow, because I'm on probation, i got to go see my PO and I'm ready, for I ain't got to be scared, right, Right, i ain't got to be bad. Yes, sir, you know what I'm saying, man, it was insane, man, you know. Just keep on doing the same thing. Expect me different results, man, you know. But today I just got to take it one day at a time. I drive around in my car and listen to the music, right, because that's a way of soothing myself. Got you Talking to myself, you know what I'm saying, right, but it's the bed that I made from 50 on up. I got to be a better me, you know, because 50 on back, i didn't even know who I was for real. You know what I mean. I know my name with Calvin, i know my name with P And this, but I didn't really know who I was. You know what I'm saying Man And a person had told me. They were like do you understand why you don't stick it out in a relationship? And I was like, nah, and the girl told me because you got to love yourself before you can love anybody else. Wow, you know what I'm saying. And I sat and thought about it, thought about it And I was like she's right, you know what I mean. I thought I love myself, right, but how can I love myself if I'm putting pause in it? Wow, something that's coming on the TV every day, sitting, all Yeah, and it's taking people out. And I got on my knees one day and prayed and said Lord, why didn't you take me? You know I would hurt you. You know I won't have you with myself. Why didn't you take me, you know? And the only thing that I got out of that was, if he would have took me, my mama would have been too long right behind me. You know what I'm saying. It would have broken her heart. It would have broken her heart, yeah, you know. So for the rest of her little time that she got on the earth, i got to give her and her baby boy back. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, man, i can't worry about nobody else, you know.
Speaker 1:I like what you're saying, so this is the new P.
Speaker 2:That's right.
Speaker 1:So what's your plans?
Speaker 2:going forward, man Man, my plans going forward, man, it's being in my left-wing life. You know, they love me to death. They see no wrong in me, you know, and the look on their face When they see me, when I come around, they just brighten up the whole day, right, you know, and they always did that. But I really couldn't see it Because my head were cloudy. You know, they asked me so many questions about where I've been at and this and the other. You know. I tell them I was in boot camp. When you get older, i explain it to you, you know. But yesterday I went over here and told them you know what I mean? I was in the rehab. A rehab, i was getting myself back together. That's what a rehab is, you know. Well, what was you doing up there? I said I had to do a lot of reading and a lot of praying, you know, so I can be a better person for y'all. And they were like you, all right, what you talking about? I said you will see, you know. You go see. And when you get older, i explain more deeper, you know, wow.
Speaker 1:So, man, i'm not going to hold you long, man, i appreciate the conversation, man, i'm proud of you, man, and the decision you've made to change it and go forward, man, and be there for your mom. I want to give a shout out to your brother. I want to give a shout out to seven and sister Paula man. Been doing them for a long time, and so I want to give a shout out to them. Is there anybody you want to give a shout out to for we sign off, man.
Speaker 2:I just want to give a shout out to tablet man. Yes, sir, you know, shout out to tablet man, the man Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, shout out to the man Man. I appreciate you, man, for being on and sharing your, your journey, because I don't look at it as a failure. I look at it your life, as an experience. So now that you in your 50, you turn the corner, so now you can reach back and just pour into your, your nephews, man, and help them along the way, and you can see their direction and where they're going And you can stop them because you know how it is Exactly. Yeah, so it's an experience, man. So, yeah, shout out to you man, thanks, man. Yes, sir, ap, talk to you soon. Man, i appreciate you. Ok, love you, man. Love you too, bro, all right, wow, what an amazing conversation. Shout out to my friend Sweepie for having this dialogue with me. You know, one of the things he said that really stuck out to me was about loving yourself more, in other words, valuing who you are. Because when we don't love ourselves first, we allow any and everything to take up residence And, just like he said, we become dressed up trans cans. But after listening to his journey, you now realize that it's not too late to start loving yourself. So shout out to you, p, as always. Thank you so much for tuning in to Let's Just Talk About It podcast, and please check out my website. Just Google Let's Just Talk About It podcastcom and then hit that subscribe button to receive all the new episodes every Friday. You can also find me on Facebook. Just type in Chuck L, j, t A I, which means Let's Just Talk About It. So, as always, until next time, don't hold it in, but let's just talk about it. Talk to you soon.
