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Imagine being a young mother, grappling with the harsh realities of the weight of societal judgment. Dr. Iris Wright didn't just imagine it, she lived it and emerged as a beacon of resilience, an acclaimed author, and advocate against injustice. This episode welcomes the indomitable Dr. Wright as she peels back the layers of her life, sharing her journey from Salisbury, Maryland, to the influential powerhouse she is today.
Can wounds ever truly heal? What's the difference between a closed wound and a healed one? We tackle these poignant questions as we explore the healing process from past traumas.
But that's not all. This podcast also dives into the journey of a serial entrepreneur. Dr. Iris shares the challenges she faced while launching her home care company and working as a mortgage loan officer, and her unyielding commitment to empowering teen moms. Our conversation extends to the importance of travel and growth. We wind up this inspiring episode with Dr. Iris's story of survival and her transformation from a victim to a victor. Her journey is a testament to the power of resilience and the importance of speaking out against injustice. So, buckle up, hit that subscribe button, and remember to join us every Friday for more episodes that inspire, challenge, and motivate.
Thank you for listening.
Welcome back to a brand new episode of Lets Just Talk About it podcast. I'm your host, chuck, and if you're here for the first time, this platform was created to give genuine people just like you an opportunity to share a portion of your life's journey. So, with that being said, I have special guest Dr Iris Wright on with me today. We have a great conversation about her past being the motivation behind her becoming the advocate, author and serial entrepreneur she is today. So you don't want to miss this inspiring conversation. As a matter of fact, do me a favor go and grab your husband, your wife, your children, or even call a friend and gather around to listen to my conversation with Dr Iris, on Lets just talk about it podcast. Hey, let's jump right in. Welcome back to another episode of Lets Just Talk About it podcast Today. I have Dr Iris Wright on with me today. She's a serial entrepreneur and an injustice advocate. So, first of all, MS Iris, how you are doing today. I'm doing good. Thank you for being on and being a part of let's Just Talk About it podcast.
Dr. Iris:Thank you so much for inviting me.
Chuck:You're welcome. First of all, I love to jump right into my interviews to have those genuine conversations with genuine people just like yourself, Iris. You know to share a portion of your life journey. So, first of all, I love to ask this question when are you from?
Dr. Iris:I'm from Salisbury, maryland, wow.
Chuck:Eastern Shore. Wow, how was it for you growing up over there at the East? Because you got to go across the Chesapeake Bay Bridge to get there. So how was it for you growing up on that side?
Dr. Iris:Growing up was okay, was pretty much raised by a single mom. I mean she had husbands. So I married quite a few times, but it was good.
Chuck:Wow, so it was kind of quiet over there.
Dr. Iris:You know something like that. Well, I grew up in a place called the Booth Street Projects.
Chuck:Okay.
Dr. Iris:So we've seen a lot of things there, but my mom was pretty strict so we didn't have to. Yeah, we didn't do a lot, we were just doing it for ourselves.
Chuck:Does that affect you? You know, like growing up and I remember you know growing up too like the older people told you don't say nothing. You know it's like all about keeping quiet. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Dr. Iris:Yeah, that's how we were raised, like you, you see but you don't say nothing, yeah. You don't say anything, which is difficult, because I believe that's probably why a lot of the world things are happening now. Wow, Things were happening. No one says anything. So those people that are doing the things is still out here on the street, you know. So it's very difficult.
Chuck:Wow.
Dr. Iris:Also mentally. You know, you think if something really bad happened, even though you weren't a victim but you saw and witnessed it, that could cause some mental trauma issues as well. Yeah, trauma for you, you know. So it was a lot.
Chuck:Wow. So there comes a time where we get older and I believe home. You know, we feel like we're grown. How was that for you when you first left home?
Dr. Iris:Oh man, I kind of grew up with my mom. So my mom was 14 when she was pregnant with me. Wow, Okay. So she worked hard to try to so we wouldn't fall in the same traps or the same footsteps as she did. But one thing about parents that time they didn't talk to us, they didn't really break things down, while we couldn't do certain things and different things. I think it was like she was holding the leash on too tight to where. I was the oldest and I had to do everything. I had to help take care of my sisters. I had to cook, I had to help them with their homework. I had to do this. I couldn't do after school programs. You know, it was almost like I grew up too fast. I didn't get a chance to be a child.
Chuck:Right.
Dr. Iris:So I ended up sneaking out and I ended up falling into her footsteps and getting pregnant at 15. Got you, and then I ended up moving out of the house at 15 because I didn't want her to have to have another mouth to feed.
Chuck:Wow. So you felt like you was helping out by leaving home. Yes, wow. So being on your own, raising a child by yourself, how did that work out for you?
Dr. Iris:It was difficult because my kid's father I stayed with his, with his, at his own house and his mom was not like my mom. He was always gone. So it was like he was. You know him and his brothers or cousins or whatever. They had the house to themselves so he didn't have that strict parenting that I had. And at first, as a kid or a teenager, that sounds fine, right, yeah yeah. But as you grow up, kind of look back at it. It was kind of messed up.
Chuck:Yeah, you realize it was yeah.
Dr. Iris:It was not a good thing. As we moved in with him and his family, of course, I kind of called his mom my mom, so the family got pretty close to the family and he was one of those people where I think I was like 12 when I met him and we were kind of pretending to be boyfriend and girlfriend, even though I didn't really know what that was, and we just ended up having our children together. So it was part of my nightmare, you know. I just didn't see it before it happened. So I tell the young ladies all the time slow down, you want to have children by someone. You know you know wait, and he was part of my injustice. You know, when we broken up, it was where I had a now found a place to go and asked them to keep my daughter for a little bit until I found a place. When I came back to pick my daughter up, my daughter has swords on her legs and I contact them. They told me she was allergic to soap and you know just all types of things. Talk to the doctor. The doctor told me she had an infatigo disease that maybe could come from old wood or old dogs or you know whatever. And I ended up telling them you know, doctor, there was some ointment and different things. I would pick that up, but let me tell my job. I'm gonna take a little time off to be with her. When I came back to pick my daughter up from their care, they had the police waiting for me and told the police that I burned my daughter. So my journey then, and I was still in a state of shock how old were you? I was actually 17 at that time.
Chuck:So that it took you.
Dr. Iris:Yeah, and I actually thought, you know I didn't do anything wrong. I took her to the doctors, you know, the very next morning, you know, because I picked her up a little late at night before you know. No one's going to believe that. You know what I mean. And then his mom I thought like she's gonna talk to him. You know what I'm saying. But his mom was the mastermind of the whole thing.
Chuck:Blame it on you.
Dr. Iris:Yeah. So they were trying to cover me taking his daughter away and paying child support, to so many things, and I think the situation is a whole lot deeper than that, and so it was very, very difficult. So I tell the young ladies just pay attention, pay attention to the science, get to know people. Even if they, like you, you're still not their family. Yeah, yeah, you know, they're still not their family. So it was a lot. It was very difficult. Eventually I was arrested for it.
Chuck:Wow.
Dr. Iris:And I had, I think, two or three felonies and two or three misdemeanors. It took her for me. It took me almost five years to get her back.
Chuck:Wow.
Dr. Iris:Yep, my name was one of the child abuse registry and I didn't even know it. A friend of mine years later had asked me if my name was on there and the state actually had my name on it for the rest of my life. She was a social worker. She asked if I mind, if she would look for me.
Chuck:Wow.
Dr. Iris:And she did. They had me on there for the rest of my life and I was able to fight to get that off.
Chuck:Right, right.
Dr. Iris:Wow, but it was a lot. It was a lot. So yeah, I kind of at that point I started realizing a lot of things that my mom was trying to do. If I would have listened I wouldn't have been in the situation.
Chuck:Yeah, I got you.
Dr. Iris:But she didn't really explain to me what you know. I knew she didn't want me to get pregnant early, but I just wish you would have talked to me a little more, Wow.
Chuck:That would have kept you from some things you experienced. Yeah, got you. So do you think? Where you are today, you know like is the motivation behind what happened in your past that you are now a serial entrepreneur and an also an injustice advocate.
Dr. Iris:Definitely, definitely, definitely. Okay, going through the injustice, I still was able to somehow, after quitting school and going through all that, still was able to maintain a pretty good job.
Chuck:Right.
Dr. Iris:Through it. Also, I didn't have to go through a lot of things that other people had went through. And then it taught me hard work because, again, going through the court and the trials and fighting the state for my child Um, I even had to relocate to another state so they wouldn't take my other child because I was actually pregnant. I was my oldest son at the time. It caused me to put a lot of time into work, so work was my safe place. Got, you Got you Only problem with that is it was good because it kept me distracted, but when it was time for me, you know, to be there for my kids, um 100%, I think mentally I wasn't all the way there.
Chuck:Got you. Yeah, you never know who's listening. You never know who's going through the same thing, and a lot of young parents are dealing with a lot of things and they use work or whatever as a coping mechanism to get through. But the thing is the kids are suffering because of what they're going through.
Dr. Iris:Yeah, um, that it was. It was definitely difficult, Um. So I do think that my work ethics come from that, um, because still today I move. You know, I can't sit. Still I have to keep moving and doing things and sometimes I've got to program myself that this is family time, yeah, Um. But also it taught me a lot as well, because I'm able to see things Right, right In my position. I'm used to managing people, I'm used to building, I'm used to doing all kinds of things and then, within justice, um, portion of it was I didn't know anything about healing, so I just thought putting everything in a box and putting it away and never really having to talk about it again. But I found out, going into entrepreneurship and meeting so many people, that I still had work to do on myself. Got you and God has placed so many different people that talk to me and tell me their stories and at the beginning it was like I can't help them with this because it's too emotional.
Chuck:Wow.
Dr. Iris:And that's when I realized I'm not healed from this yet. It took me, um, having to figure out how can I heal from it. You know, because I've been through counseling for over a decade, um, and I wrote my first book in an anthology project called Words of Wisdom, mm-hmm, um, the project with the visionary was difficult, but I got through it, got you. But one thing I did get from it, you know, I say all the time, even though my experience with her wasn't good, but God had placed her with me to help me get to the point where I needed to write my story Got you.
Chuck:Let me ask you this before we go on you talked about. You realize you weren't healed from what you were going through. Again, you never know who's listening. How did you come to realize that? What was the emotional? I guess thought that you had that. You realized, hey, I still have a wound, yeah.
Dr. Iris:Um well, when young ladies would come to me and they would talk to me about what they're going through, especially with so similar to mine, my emotions would take over it, like I could feel something happening in my body. Wow, I could feel the anger I you know I would cry, I would get emotional, I would push them away and tell them I can't, you know, I just can't, I'm not the one that they should be talking to. And then, after doing some reading and researching, I figured out that, oh, a closed wound does not mean a healed wound.
Chuck:And.
Dr. Iris:I had to kind of identify what caused it to heal and why, what's the difference? You know, and the difference is when you have a wound and you pill the scab and reopen it before it's healed, it hurts, maybe burn, but when you allow it to heal properly, it doesn't hurt, it doesn't hurt as much anymore.
Chuck:Wow.
Dr. Iris:It's healed. So, um, I had to do some work. I had to do some work on myself and I got into auto-ship and started writing and I never stopped.
Chuck:So that was like a therapy for you.
Dr. Iris:Yeah, definitely it was hard. When I started writing my story, I had to do it for like an hour maybe at a time.
Chuck:Wow.
Dr. Iris:I wouldn't be able to write everything right away and because I would cry, I would be down, I would go in the room by myself, I would get on my knees, I would pray, I like it's got to help me through it. But I got through it. I did it and I became an author January this year. From January now I have over 20 books out and collaborations and I have my book that I'm finishing up called Injustice my Story. So it has been a big healing process for me. So I decided to start a movement because I realized there are people out here that is trying to help people that's incarcerated and people in different parts of the justice system, but it's really not many people. Helping people heal from it and counseling is good, but a lot of those counselors haven't been through this.
Chuck:Wow, they don't have that womb, that experience.
Dr. Iris:That experience. They have the book smarts, but they don't have the experience, so they're following something that someone wrote and it's not that easy. So with me it's like I am you, I'm the community and I can relate to them on another level. So I wanted to be able to help them heal, evolve and know it's more out here and to get uncomfortable with using their voices, Because I think that was the biggest thing, Because everybody you know, over the years used to tell me oh, you're going to be doing this and you're going to be. You know, I just thought they were just talking Right right, because I don't want to talk in front of people. I'm nervous about it, and I think it was because I did experience that I know people are going to judge me, you know. And I had to get to the point where these people I don't care about them- yeah, yeah, that's good idea, yeah. You know, and so sometimes us caring about what others say, talk about it Henders us from moving, it hinders us from healing Absolutely, it hinders us from evolving. You know, I had to. You know, talk to someone. You know, even with my kids when I was writing this. Like, how are they going to feel?
Chuck:Right right.
Dr. Iris:And someone a friend of mine said well, they're grown now. Like you, kept all that bundled as they were children, so they didn't have to deal with it. But now you took and dealt with them to make sure they were good. But now you, you have to deal with yourself. Yeah, you got healed. So when do I was healed? Wow. And when Iris was going through the pain, who was there? These people that are judging you? They were nowhere to be found, and if they were, they weren't helping you, wow. So I had to say you know what? You're right. I was hurting by myself, you know. So that was a whole process. So when I was able to speak out in January, at this point I didn't care about what nobody else said or how they thought about me, and I had to talk to my children. And this time I had to talk to them in a manner of I'm not asking you, I'm telling you. This is what I'm about to do and you need to respect me. You know, because this is their family, you know, even though if I don't use their names, they know who I'm talking about. So I needed to make sure I had that conversation.
Chuck:Wow, let me ask you this, now that you're older. Now, if you could go back to talk to the younger Iris, what would you share with her that your mom didn't to prepare her for today? What would you say? What advice would you give her?
Dr. Iris:I would tell my mom even though it's hard, because I know she was struggling, she was working a lot. I would tell her you know, allow me to still be a child. You know, allow me to attend school dances, allow me to play sports. Sometimes, when you're off, make breakfast for us, do things. I know you're tired. You know, help us with our homework. You know I would help my mom, my sisters with their homework, yeah, and hug us and tell us that you love us. Sometimes I believe I was a grown woman when my mom told me that she loves me and I don't blame this on her. Yeah, so this is why a lot of kids they blame their parents for so many things, mm hmm, so God had to work with me on that too, to let me know that she was a child.
Chuck:Wow, trying to learn and navigate herself, wow.
Dr. Iris:Yeah, and she did the best she could. She did what she knew, you know, and not only was she a child, my mom is inside of my next book, called Injustice, volume 3. That's how powerful this movement was for me. Mm hmm, my mom was raped a lot and she was hurt. She was hurt and she was trying to raise us. So I think that was that's what made it hard for her. She couldn't see past because she didn't heal. Yeah, she was told it was swept underneath the rug that they were supposed to talk about it, or her grandpa, mm hmm, you know, she told me stories where they had to put a dresser when he come home and they know he's drinking. They had to put a dresser against the door, the block, the door. They went to foster homes, where my mom got the courage to tell a teacher, and they went to foster home and to foster parents. Husbands did the same thing to them. Wow, so my mom didn't get a healing. So June 17th of 2023 was my first injustice movement celebration and I was able to bring my mom here this week. Make sure she had something nice to wear. I had the person to wear makeup. Make sure her hair was dyed. She was able to be there First row seats and we had some powerful people that was in part of that book and my mom was able to hear their stories, and one one lady in particular. I really wanted my mom to hear because that young lady was also rape, beaten, abused, quit school, prostitute the drugs and all kinds of things, and she was able to heal and evolve and now she's in the master's program, learn, a mental health clinic and doing her job to help other people Through that celebration. When I dropped my mom home Monday the next week, I got a package in the mail from my mom. She wrote her story and wanted to be part of this volume three Wow, shout out to mom. Yes, so it was not just healing for me, but something that me and my sister's been talking to my mom about for a long time. She started that process from that day.
Chuck:Wow, listening to your story, there's so many people that we possibly see every day in their 50s and their 60s or possibly 70s, that are still holding that silent scream in and nobody knows about it. You know what I mean.
Dr. Iris:Yeah.
Chuck:Yeah To people like you. Come around and share their stories so they can feel free enough to share their stories. Wow, amazing Switching gears. Dr Iris, you call yourself a serial entrepreneur. Let's talk about that. You know again, you never know who's listening listening to your story and listening how you overcame, or you're overcoming, what you've been through to now being an entrepreneur. Talk about it.
Dr. Iris:Yeah, I own a home care company called Caring Hearts Telecare. Well, we provide home care services for seniors. We are an innovative company, so we do have technology in our company, so we're able to help people even if they don't need an aid or caregiver there. And I'm an author, I'm a speaker. I enjoy doing that. I'm also a mortgage loan officer as well, so I help people Especially. That part was important for me when I had the opportunity, because a lot of us wasn't taught about ownership.
Chuck:Talk about it, yeah.
Dr. Iris:You know, a lot of us came from poverty homes, food stamps, section 8, all of that kind of stuff. My mom used it as a regroup. Some of my sisters are on it and it's a mindset thing. And I come in contact with people women all the time saying, hey, I need a job, I can't work past a certain amount of hours because I don't want to lose my Section 8 on my food stamps. So it's very important that we educate ourselves because we have the resources now. You know, back then they didn't have a lot of resources to teach them. So by me coming a mortgage loan officer and joining a movement called 75 for All, I'm able to get out in the community and be able to help them clean their credit up, educate them about credit and to help make them homeowners. So that was a big deal for me being able. That was my reasoning of doing it. So I'm excited about that as well. And I have a program June 10th in my nonprofit. I also own a nonprofit called Cairnhearts Foundation. We have a proud program called Team Mom to Entrepreneur. It's a 26-week program but after the 26 weeks we do stay in their lives for at least 24 months. We're teaching them entrepreneur A to Z, how to become an entrepreneur. Yeah, we're also teaching them mindset training and mental health training, because, as a Team Mom, whether you're working at a job, whether you're an entrepreneur, the kids got issues going on. All these things happening at one time, we get frustrated. Sometimes their fathers aren't there to help, so no one's there to help and it can get real frustrating. So we want to teach them how to handle those stressful situations. We want to teach them home ownership. We want to teach them credit, but not just teaching them about credit. We want to teach them how to fix it themselves. If something ever happens, they know how to fix it. Maybe we can tap in it before it messes us up. You know what I mean. Sometimes, when we lose our job or something happens, we automatically want to look at that credit report, and we really should be looking at the credit report, calling the credit card company, because a lot of times we can work something out with them and not cause it to mess up our credit scores too badly. So we really want to give back home ownership as well, hoping to grow that into something else in the next 24 months or so. We're getting some properties and different things to help them, but we have mentorship coming there too. So if they say, hey, you know, I always want to own a nail salon, we have a nail salon owner coming on board. We have a lab owner of a lab, a local lab on board to bring them in to show them. You know, this is what it looks like to own a lab and this is what you got to do. So they get some hands-on structure in there when they're ready to start. We're taking care of the costs of the LLCs and the things they need. Educating them about the insurance and different things of that nature. So these things are going on now we open June 10. So right now I'm looking for the teen moms. Got you, Yep? So we're hoping to help between 10 and 20 in our first program. It will be a graduation 2025. So they will, you know, be graduating that program with everything the caping gowns, the awards, everything.
Chuck:So again, you never know who's listening. You know how do they get in contact with you. They want to. You know, get involved.
Dr. Iris:They can contact me by going to our website C-hearts, c-h-e-a-r-t-s Foundation, f-o-u-n-d-a-t-i-o-n dot org. Or they can go email me at info at cheartsfoundationorg, or they can call me at 757-243-3160. And I'm all over social media Facebook. I'm Dr Iris Wright, karen Hart's Foundation. We have Facebook as well. We have Instagram. I'm LinkedIn. I'm on TikTok now and, as Dr Iris Wright, yeah.
Chuck:Or Iris Wright's Instagram.
Dr. Iris:TikTok. So I just started TikTok, so I'm learning it, but I'm on there. You know, we have our show called Real Talk with Iris, where we're on Rukoo. So we're about to launch our Rukoo channel. So you know, I think I'm pretty easy to get a hold of. But, yeah, we are looking for moms. They can be even if they're around 21 and they have a two or three year old there was still in that category of teen, because sometimes people think they were 21. So we're automatically grown. We're not. Yeah, you know, we're still learning. So you know, but we want to be able to help. We want to be able to everything that I felt like I've learned through this entrepreneurial journey. I want to be able to help them. They will be authors as well. They will have to write a chapter in a book called Team on Entrepreneurial Program, and we will be doing speaking training as well, because we want to teach them how to use that voice of theirs. It's amazing to be able to help other people. So you know, I'm hoping that this is our first year. I'm hoping that we can continue to grow this. We have partnered with the city of Newport News. We're partnering with Young Life, rake and Bearers 7x7. We're working with. You know, we're looking to just do more partnerships and the work to get our teens so I do go out in school, I sub sometimes.
Chuck:Wow.
Dr. Iris:Yeah. So I'm a big advocate when it comes to helping out our community and I understand like what me subbing it kind of came up upon because of. I have an eight-year-old and I witnessed some things that maybe shouldn't be happening from teachers inside the school and not that they're all of them are bad people, but they're burnt out, they're tired. A lot of them are. Having 26 kids in the classroom Five days a week is a lot.
Chuck:It's a lot yeah.
Dr. Iris:You know, yeah, my son's in the third grade this year Like oh my God, 26 of them and one time five days a week. So I had to apply to be a sub and I tell the teachers like give them my card, call me if you're just tired or if you've got some important you have to do, to see if I could help, you know. And so it's been this journey. Part of the journey is like something new Parenting and everything is not the new part, Just being in that education system, seeing how things move and grow and being around all the kids and all the different personalities and they're all going through so many things. It's been amazing journey.
Chuck:Wow, let me ask you this yeah, wearing so many hats, how do you take time out for you? Or is that your healing by serving? Is the service you give yourself care? Does that make you, you know, motivated when you serve?
Dr. Iris:I think it motivates me when I serve, but I do find time to do stuff in between. Okay, you know. I've been traveling a lot. Yeah, I try to stop in my work there at a certain time. Gotcha, on certain days when we travel, I do try to make it to hey, we're going here, we're going to stay an extra couple of days to see if we can enjoy ourselves, you know it did not work. Yeah, you know, because you know this year I have I have done a lot of traveling, I've done a lot of networking, I've done a lot of collaborations and that kind of happened on purpose. I wanted to meet people from all over in different cities. So I've been in Georgia quite a bit. I feel almost like I live there now. I've been in Florida. We've been in Raleigh, North Carolina. We've been going all over in 2024. We got a six day, five day in the minute Republic. I'm going to speak there. I'm going to do my first TEDx talk there. July we're going to St Thomas and we're doing they're doing a bill board launch and everything with me, so I'm going to speak in September. We're going Paris, so I'm going to speak in Paris in September.
Chuck:Wow.
Dr. Iris:So um.
Chuck:Got a lot going on.
Dr. Iris:Yeah, so it's fun. Yeah, it's fun, it's part of growth. It's part of growing the business as well. People getting to know me and I think, with my home care agencies, I think it's helped me a lot there too, because people didn't know a lot about me, they didn't know my why, they didn't know who I really am. So, you know, with me, with my home care agency, we are a fully private pay agency, so I don't take any insurance and I've been able to grow and a lot of places that he is hard to grow fully private pay, but we've been able to grow. We've been able to keep a 95% retention rate, so, um, I haven't had a client that left us yet. Um, and they trust me, so, which I'm I'm really super proud of it. You know, even when things are going on and stuff, sometimes my caretakers, we talk about things that I'm doing and sometimes the clients and they family are calling me. Oh, my God, you know we're. So you know. So, um, you know, it really feels like, you know, we're building something great you know, community yeah. Community yeah.
Chuck:I can hear that community yeah.
Dr. Iris:Yeah, so, um, it's been an amazing journey and we have our office here in Newport News and we're in the middle of opening Virginia Beach now, right across from the Lynn Haven Mall.
Chuck:So wow, so yeah.
Dr. Iris:So we're kind of growing.
Chuck:Um, kinda, you, you're doing it, you're doing it, you're doing it and shout out to you for everything you're doing. You know you could have easily gave up a long time ago. You could have said I've been through too much, I'm done, it's over. But you kept pushing and, um, that means a lot to somebody who may be going through the same thing you've went through to see you endure those tough things. You endure those tough times in your life to become who you are today.
Dr. Iris:So, yeah, yeah, shout out to you, it's really hard. I'm going to tell you like it's not. It wasn't easy. I think I made a post yesterday that I tried several times to take my own life. I tried giving up and I couldn't. You know, and um, I just kept going, even in pain, um so, and I kind of post a lot of stuff. So, people, I know, just keep going, just just keep going, because even if you're in a good part of your life, you're still going to have some type of a trial. Something's going to happen. You know, that's just part of life, um, and yeah, you're going to have to figure out a way. Now let's get through it and let's keep going and keep pushing, you know. So, sometimes these trials are meant to build your strength. You're meant to learn from them. So if that ever happens again, you know what it looks like, you know, and um, so instead of me being angry about these trials, I decided to embrace them. And um, you know one thing about embracing them to that at one point in my life, you know, I grew up in the church, so I gave up on God. You know that was a big thing. You know, I wrote, I wrote a book about it. But, um, I gave up on him. I didn't believe in him anymore, um, and I haven't been in the church in a very long time and I didn't want to hear about him. I didn't slam doors and pass the spaces and people coming and trying to talk to me about him and everything. I just did not believe in him. And as I went through the healing process, I realized that he never left me.
Chuck:Wow.
Dr. Iris:He allowed me to go through some things, but he also helped me come out of it. So he put you know people in places. But when you're in pain you can't see that you have to be able to heal so you can see everything clearly, you know. So just don't give up.
Chuck:I love what you said. He never gives up on us.
Dr. Iris:Yes, yeah, it was just crazy because I was like man, you know, like I gave up on you and it was one situation where a stranger, someone I never met, I was in a store and this woman was in back of me I guess she could feel something going on with me and she was about to leave and she turns back around and said can I give you a hug? Wow, and I'm like this woman is crazy, you know. Like she hugged me and she said sweetheart, find somewhere that you can just scream. She said you know, you can yell at God, right, mm? You know what is she talking about. He can take it. She says he can take it. He has, he's great, he wants you to go to him. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, and you know, if you hear the older people said, oh my God, yelling and cussing and carrying on it, god, you know, no, you know. And she says, oh no, he would rather you come to him and take it out on him than you go take it on to someone else that's so good yeah. So one day I decided the kids are gone and I would decided to do that.
Chuck:Mm.
Dr. Iris:And I think out of screen, I think I'd have said some cuss words and everything.
Chuck:You know my God, just let it out. Yeah, he can take it though.
Dr. Iris:Just let it out, you know in you know, it helped me a lot with that. So even now, in transitioning into healing and entrepreneurship, I have some very stern conversations with God, you know. So sometime, you know, I tell him. You know, you told me that I would have double for my trouble. Wow, you know, I need you to keep your word you know, I would say stuff like that. Right, right and things like that, and didn't realize that he was placing certain people around me to give me what I needed, to open certain doors and to educate me on a certain area you know what I'm saying and just to do certain things. So, but just building that relationship. So then we had to go back into a cycle to where I had to rebuild my relationship with him. So April of this year was my first time really walking into a church like that With a clear, with a clear, healed mind. You know was my first time really walking into a church like that. That's amazing. Me and my husband got married in a church but we didn't have nobody preaching to us. And then I tried a few other churches in the midst of my pain, which was very difficult, because I remember one pastor telling me that God don't hear sinners and it kind of deterred me away. And then I remember getting close to another church and you know a whole bunch of stuff was going on and it kind of deterred me away. Yeah, so this time I was able to. You know, somebody real close to me, that's a really good person, invited me to this church. I'm like, oh man, she's always got a positive attitude. She's always good people. You know I need to go, you know go and you know. So, April, I started going to that church. I don't go every Sunday, but I tried to. I'm trying to go every other Sunday and just take my time. And our pastor, jake, was preaching and said sometimes people think that you have to attend every church. You know you gotta be there every Sunday, you gotta do this and that. And he said, if you need it, yeah, you know the food and nutrition. But she said, he said everybody takes and get that food and nutrition differently. And he said the first thing you need to do is to learn how to build your personal relationship with him first and let him guide you onto what that looks like. That relationship looks like. So I had been working on that portion of it, you know, being able to build my personal relationship with him and to get back close to him and gradually getting back into the church.
Chuck:Amazing.
Dr. Iris:And not letting people influence me, that I should do more, because when someone push you yeah, rush me you know that kinds of mess up the transition that we're going into, and so you know I'm excited about it.
Chuck:Amazing.
Dr. Iris:You know and I'm you know and I share my story just because I want other people to know that there's people out here that can help them. There's people out here that've been through really bad things and they're able to heal, they're able to evolve, they're able to do things and sometimes God allows us to go through some things so we can help other people.
Chuck:Absolutely.
Dr. Iris:So and that was one thing that kept being told to me well, he allowed you to go through it and get through it. It's for you to keep it to yourself. I can't, you can't tell me that.
Chuck:You know, People will mess you up. Yeah.
Dr. Iris:And when you're in pain, you don't want to hear it.
Chuck:Yeah, people will mess you up, man.
Dr. Iris:Like I can't help nobody right now. Man, you know I so it's been. It's been amazing journey, because I realized it wasn't on my time. It had to be on his time. He said, hey, this is your season, this is when I need you out here. You know, and I kept hearing him talk, you know to me in certain ways, and people telling me and calling me out of the blue with certain things that I'm like God, I'm not ready yet. And you know, I felt like this year, 2023 is like you want to get ready. You know you got to get out here. So this was very unexpected for me to have all this going on. This year was not at the point at all, got you?
Chuck:Wow, what an amazing journey. I really enjoyed our conversation, dr Iris, and I really appreciate you being on. Is there anybody you want to shout out before we close out?
Dr. Iris:I shout out my husband, yeah and my children, my grandchildren. And also I shout out to everybody that has experienced some type of injustice, the ladies that's been or in, the men, gentlemen that's been part of our movement, our books, that's out here doing great things, because we have a lot of them that are doing amazing things Just praying and praying for them to keep up the courage to be able to go out in these communities and face, you know, really bad situations. So I want to shout out to everybody in my home care company, caring Hearts Telecare Crew, and our clients I appreciate you for trusting me with your care.
Chuck:Amazing, amazing, amazing conversation. I really appreciate it. I hope this won't be the last time that we have this conversation, because you got a lot to share. You got a lot to offer the world with your story. So I really appreciate you being on again and thank you so much and talk to you soon.
Dr. Iris:Talk to you soon, thank you.
Chuck:Wow, what an amazing conversation. Shout out to my friend, Dr Iris, for having this dialogue with me. You know, one of the things that stuck out to me, amongst many other things about this conversation, is the fact that you never know what a person had to go through to get to where they are today and still be able to smile through their trauma. And today, Dr Iris is a true example of survival and how you can turn your pain into an advocate, author and serial entrepreneur if you don't give up. So shout out to you, Iris, for being who you are, as always. Thank you so much for tuning in to let's Just Talk about it podcast, and please check out my website. Just Google let's Just Talk About it podcastcom and then hit that subscribe button to receive all the new episodes every Friday. You can also find me on Facebook. Just type in Chuck LJTAI, which means let's Just Talk About it. So, as always, until next time, don't hold it in, but let's just talk about it. Talk to you soon.
