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Growing up in Cavalier Manor wasn't for the faint-hearted, and in this powerful episode, my friend Mark Virgil and I peel back the layers of our shared past, exposing the raw truths that have defined us. We laugh, reminisce, and sometimes pause, weighed down by the gravity of our experiences, as we talk about the tumultuous journey from adolescence to adulthood, underscored by the specter of heroin addiction. Mark's candid account of his near-death experience and the sorrowful loss of a friend who wasn't as fortunate provide a stark viewpoint on the perils of substance abuse. Still, our conversation is imbued with hope, offering a beacon for those navigating similar dark waters, whether personally or alongside a loved one.
The air shifts as we pivot to a message for the younger generation, reflecting on how the cultural landscape has drastically changed since the 90s. I get personal, sharing hard-earned insights on overcoming fear, the necessity of perseverance, and the sheer importance of chasing one's ambitions with unyielding determination. As Mark and I express our profound thanks for the friendship that has seen us through the toughest of times, we underscore the value of kinship, love, and unwavering faith. Our episode closes not with a goodbye but with a promise to keep bringing heartfelt stories and genuine connections to you in the new year, embracing 2024 with open arms and hopeful hearts.
Welcome back to another episode of Lets Just Talk About it podcast. I'm your host, chuck, and if you're here for the first time, this platform was created to give genuine people just like you an opportunity to share a portion of your life's journey. So, with that being said, I decided to end the year with one of my favorite episodes that I did with my friend, mark Virgil, about how we live, to talk about life growing up in the section of Portsmouth, Virginia, called Cavalier Manor. So, you don't want to miss this amazing conversation. As a matter of fact, do me a favor go and grab your husband, your wife, your children, or even call a friend and gather around to listen to my conversation with Mark Virgil on Lets Just Talk About it podcast. Hey, let's jump right in Doing good man. Thanks for being on. Let's Just Talk About it. Man, just wanted to have you on. We've been talking about it for a while. We share part of each other's story, so it's good to have you on to share part of your journey. So, mark, we started hanging around. 94, 95, right.
Mark Virgil:We always knew each other before then, but we actually started hanging really in like 94, 95.
Chuck:Yeah, yep, man. How was it for you before we met? How was it for you growing up in your household?
Mark Virgil:Mark, I'm sure, man, my household was actually fun. You know, I was surrounded by women actually raised by my mom or grandmother. It was a good household actually. You know just seen the whole lot, you know, experienced the whole lot and it felt like it felt like actually episode of Good Time. Why you say that, you know? Cause you just experienced everything, the good, the bad, what goes on in the house, days in the house, you know, lights out you know, water off, still smile like everything's on, but going next door to get sugar, but it was fun.
Chuck:It was a lot of love in your household. You never knew, like you said, you never knew about it. It was. It was all love in the house. Okay, both of us were had this thing called drug addiction. Man, we use heroin so let's go back to the 90s. Let's go back to the 90s. Where did you start? What made you start using heroin?
Mark Virgil:Man, what made me start? Man, it was, it was my last football game of my senior year. Wow, I didn't know. You played football. Yeah, my last football game of my senior year and we was at McDonald's. A neighborhood friend of mine, you know, I'm also, but we was together, you know they was doing it and I tried it. And they said you gonna throw up. They said you gonna do this and do that and I did nothing. But I just got high and I actually I didn't throw up. So I said I'm bigger than that. So I said I got this until late on that summer when I found out what a habit was. Yeah, and that's when it. That's when it started to get real, realized it, yeah, and then once I, once I graduated with high school, so it found out that you know the money's not gonna come by my parents. So I have you and you know one thing led to another and we had to work. You know, still sell drugs to get drugs and you know, no transfer.
Chuck:Got you. So the reason why I wanted to bring it up, man, because somebody might be listening who has a son, daughter or or mother, father, who's out there, man, on that same thing, and so I just wanted to talk about it. Because why did we do it? And I think it the first reason for me was it was fun. But, like you said, after a while you start getting a habit and when you can't get that heroin in your nose you get what we call ill, you know. And that's a terrible feeling, man. So I think it's a lot of people who want to, who want to get off, but it's hard. So talk to me about that man, your thoughts about it.
Mark Virgil:I mean my thoughts about it, man, it's one of them things that when it's going good, it's good, when it's not, it's going bad. And you know, it just seems a whole amount of thinking, right, you know you. Just you just lose yourself. You do, man, it's just crumbled, just the wall just crumbled.
Chuck:Yeah.
Mark Virgil:And then you know, I've always heard this thing jail, institutions and death and yes, I did experience every one of those, and even the death part. You know, when I came home in 2018, I don't, I don't even say I came home 2018, I wasn't home long enough. You know, I was home for a better one day and in the happy house, I came in contact with Shinnon. I didn't know it at the time, but I did and I went out. Wow, when you say went out what? Do you mean by that?
Chuck:So so people can understand your OD Okay.
Mark Virgil:I overdosed, and one of the guys that was with me overdosed also and he didn't make it. Wow, you, you made it, but he didn't. Yes, wow, he made it. I mean, I made it, he did, and that was a scary, very scary situation.
Chuck:Okay, that's a good. That's a good segue into this. Like I said, you never know who's listening, so explain to the listening audience that scare that you had. What did you go through when you had OD? What was the experience like?
Mark Virgil:Man. The experience was that it's a feeling that you're getting your body, that you know something's wrong, and that is real. It's real when I say your whole life lasts for me, you know, and I didn't actually feel any pain. No, I ain't feeling no pain, like I would yell and scream and all. I just laid down and I thought. I remember laying down and I woke up in the ambulance with my feet moving and I remember the ambulance driver saying well, you almost ain't making it, you know.
Chuck:So, as he's saying this, you're conscious. How was you feeling?
Mark Virgil:The feel was a feeling of it wasn't me. Somebody had me, and I know who had me yeah. You know, I definitely know that after that experience, I know it's another place that we're going when it's our time to go.
Chuck:Yeah, after that experience, after that experience Because your life lasts back before you.
Mark Virgil:Yes, and I was just. I was just in a place, that where it's kind of hard to explain it because people won't believe. Believe you when they say that, but I was, I was. I was still moving, not in the, not in the physical form, right, but I was. I was like I was transitioning. But it was just that I thought I was transitioning. I was like sucked through a vacuum hose and I was sucked back into life.
Chuck:Pulled out and then pulled back in. Yeah, so you realize your life was almost gone, exactly, wow, why do you? Why do you think people know that fentanyl if I'm saying it right is cut in the dope? Why do you think people keep doing it, knowing there's a possibility?
Mark Virgil:That is a million dollar question because it's like for some people all it takes is that one time Right. And then they done, but some people like to roll the dice. Russian roulette, russian roulette, and that's what it is. It's Russian roulette, you know, and the guy who did make it out of my last conversation and one of the last conversations we had was he was like he was tired and he know he never, he's never going to mount for nothing, and now like no, you can't think like that. So I mean, I don't know what was his uh religion, and like that. I don't know that. Right, I know I still have some good to go and I like to live.
Chuck:So as I stated before, mark, we share part of each other's story and there was an incident that we had in 95, I believe me and you I don't know who was coming from work or going to Norfolk, one of the two, um, the 92 Geo Prism, yeah, and uh, I think it was in the morning time. Yeah, we was on our way to work, on our way to Norfolk, and we had a long night, had a long night stand up, and I picked you up to go to work and we driving on the interstate to 64, on our way to the tunnel, and I saw you going out, tired, closing your eyes, and I was like man, please stay up, because I felt myself going out. And the next thing, I know both of us fall asleep and I'm driving 60, 60 probably bounce per hour, and I hit the medium, yes, and the whole car went on the medium and spent all the way around, all on the interstate and we got all the way to the other side and stopped.
Mark Virgil:And uh, yeah.
Chuck:And the window was broken and all of that man. But we survived that. But the craziest thing not to say I said don't sue me. The first thing I said man, please don't sue me, I won't worry about my life because back then people would sue you for I accident quick. So uh. So we got out the car. Man. The next thing we did man got the car towed back to the house, your house and jumped right back in and went to go get a hug in Crazy man.
Mark Virgil:Went right to the job.
Chuck:Yep, got some money, did it all over again. So I guess the mindset, man, your body just craved for it and that's what we did. You know to answer that million dollar question, I guess you know, when you got it in your body there's an urge that you just got to feel it, man, when you get it in your system, yeah Wow. And so we had some crazy times together, man, but we survived a lot, doing that time of your incarceration, doing that time of your. Let's talk about this man doing that time of your incarceration. I want to go here because I want the listening orders to understand that when you make a decision to be out there, man, there's a cost to it, because why you was incarcerated, you lost your mom in the midst of that. You know what I mean. And, like you stated, man, you lose a lot, you lose a lot of time, you lose people, you lose trust, but you lost your mom. How was that for you, how was that experience for you doing that time?
Mark Virgil:Man, wow, I think for me that was the hardest thing. For me to that was as the hardest thing is losing your mother, but we don't think of things like that when we are here doing what we're doing, I'm just mousin' out, yeah. You know we think that they don't live forever. Yeah, and we're gonna bury them, you know, but to this day you still feel like I got the news and all. It's definitely hard, but I know she knows that I'm doing what I'm supposed to do now. So that's what keep me pushing. It's to be that son, to be that nephew, to be that cousin, to be that brother, to be that uncle, just to be that person, to be that man that she always wanted me to be. And I did talk to her and told her that it was okay. And the day after I talked to her it was the day that she had died. So that was by far the hardest, because that was my baby, and that's what keep me going now.
Chuck:So why you was incarcerated? You talked to her and you said it was all right to go in the next day. Yeah, wow.
Mark Virgil:Yeah, she was on hospice and she couldn't talk, but she could, just she could mumble and I talked to her and letting her know it's okay.
Chuck:And the next day she was gone. Beautiful mom man. Shout out to mom man. She was beautiful, she was loving, just looked out for us man and wanted to make sure we was all right. Yeah, most definitely, yeah, definitely. Shout out to mom man. So what are you up to now, mark? What are you up to now? How are you? You know, how do you get through the day?
Mark Virgil:now it's just hard work and work, you know, and just be there for the family. Yeah, because, like you know right now, it's like you know what goes on on that outside of society right now is it's mayhem man.
Chuck:What's? What do you? What are your thoughts about the youth today, man? What are your thoughts about that? Because I know we, I know we did some things, I know we were in the streets. Every generation is wow, you know. But what do you think the difference is from our time in the 90s to these times in the 2000s?
Mark Virgil:You know it's, it's, it's, um, I've heard it and at one time I didn't, I didn't really believe it, but I think you know, um, now it's, it's more to it that you know, um, the man is, it's, it's no father's out there. Okay, you know it's, it's, it's. I'm not saying the women can't do it because they they can't, but you know the house is divided and it's just. You know there's no father figures out there and and their father figures in the street.
Chuck:They're learning from the street.
Mark Virgil:They're learning from the street. Yeah, you know, and you see it, and you see it every day. You know on on YouTube and um, all the different websites, and and the kids are learning. Uh, at an early age of you know, growing up so fast, yeah, and the respect father is, there's no respect, nowhere. Yeah, then everybody got guns and and it's it's. I thought they said that this last generation was a lost generation, but uh, this one. This one here is just um kind of sad. Actually it is man.
Chuck:So let me ask you this man Um, if you could go back, mark and I love to ask people this question man, if you could go back to your younger self, what would you say to him? Whoo.
Mark Virgil:What would you say to your younger self About my younger self, right? So that's a good question.
Chuck:Yeah, what would you say to him, man? What would you say to Mark Teenager?
Mark Virgil:Mark, teenage Mark, don't be afraid to fail, wow.
Chuck:Why do you say that? Why do you say that Don't be afraid to fail you, because we're gonna fail?
Mark Virgil:Okay, we're gonna fail, but it's about how you get up from fail. Okay okay, you know, because, uh, fear is something else, man, because some people just I ain't say some people meet, I was afraid to fail, yeah, I think. So some things that I'm afraid of I stay away from.
Chuck:Got you. Wow, that's, that's loaded. So you would tell your younger self don't be afraid to fail.
Mark Virgil:Don't be afraid to fail. Okay, got you.
Chuck:So when you, when you say you stay away from it, what do you mean by that? What does that?
Mark Virgil:mean, you know, just in case, like um, if it's uh a job opportunity, it's something that I can't get or I would scare them, you know, because of the application or whatever, yeah, or not even gonna hire me because of this or that, I wouldn't even try. Got you Stop trying, I'll stay away. I'll go do something else instead of trying. Yeah, and then you know, and another, another one was, uh, always complete. You know you gotta complete, because me, I was crashing. They won't finish nothing, but that's, that's part of you know, whatever goal we set for ourselves, we have, we have to, you know, stay with us until we get it.
Chuck:So that's deep man. You, you opening up some, some good stuff. You talk about being afraid to fail and not trying because you feel, you feel sometimes you will fail. Do you think that? That's? As to this, though, do you think that's good? You know, in terms of not even trying, you know what I mean, because sometimes you can live in regret. I believe you can live in regret if you don't try something. So, although you're afraid of it, if you, if you, if it doesn't work, you could say at least I tried. That's what I'm trying to say.
Mark Virgil:Yeah, you know that's. That's almost like you finding out that, like like my navel, I went when I was young. He had the biggest dog dog growl bark all day. But when I went in the house I found out that the dog wasn't as big as the bark was, because sometimes you find out that what she was afraid of wasn't hard at all to do.
Chuck:Was it nothing? Yeah, and that's why I say you'll never know unless you try.
Mark Virgil:You do it. You know what I mean.
Chuck:And I guess that falls into procrastination. Why try? You hesitate? Because all of us got a little bit of that fear in us to feel failure. What if it doesn't work? What if I try? And I look crazy? You know what I mean. So we procrastinate. So I think all of that goes together and all of us got that part of us in us, man. So you never know who's listening to this podcast man, who needs to hit that? Because sometimes we feel like we're the only ones who got to struggle and the reality is all of us got something we wrestle with. It takes somebody to be transparent, to know, hey, I'm not by myself, somebody else feels like I feel. And that's the whole thing about this podcast man, let's just talk about it. And I always say, as a platform, get toward giving genuine people, just like you, man, an opportunity to share a portion of your story, because our stories are like books and when people open it up, they'd be like man. I'm not the only one, but people got to have the courage to share and be vulnerable with their stories, because your story is just not for you. You helping somebody else, man. So that's how I look at it, so that's why I call it. Let's just talk about it, put it on the table, let's go, let's get it out the way, man. So one last question, man. What would you tell a younger person that you see in the street and you got his ear? He wants to listen to you. What would you tell him?
Mark Virgil:Oh, so you guys have good questions, Chuck what?
Chuck:do you think?
Mark Virgil:man you know, hey, look, man, now this I would tell him life, life is short, man, you got to take life. Man, take life serious. Sometimes a no is better than a yes. That's good, because sometimes we all, sometimes a lot of times, we say yes, it don't mean it. And just you know, just just accept life on life's terms. Man, you know, don't, don't make things harder than what it is.
Chuck:Yeah, I would add to that too. Man, calm down, think about it before you react, because that one reaction may lead to a life term life sentence and we've seen it. Yeah, over and over again. So I would say calm down, think about it before you react. Mark, I really appreciate you being on, but before we go, would you like to shout anybody out before we sign off?
Mark Virgil:Oh man, I just like, like you know, shout my family out. Yeah, you know, all my loved ones and everybody that's listening and just just just thank God man, thanks again for having this conversation with me.
Chuck:We've been bros for a long time and I really appreciate you. We've seen a lot of crazy stuff together, but look at us now. God is good man, Appreciate you being on. Let's just talk about it. Part one, our story, Mark and Chuck. Hey, love you, man.
Mark Virgil:I love you too, chuck. All right bro.
Chuck:Wow, what an amazing conversation. Shout out to my friend, mark Virgil again for doing that interview with me and I hope everybody has a happy new year, be safe and in 2024, I hope to have brand new episodes, you know, just to listen to genuine conversations with genuine people just like yourself. So again, happy new year and I appreciate all the support that you've given. Let's just talk about it. Okay, let's talk to you soon.
