(Ep.84) I Became What I Needed with Guest Carla Turner

Chuck: 0:10

Welcome back to another episode of Lets Just Talk About it podcast. I'm your host, chuck, and if you're here for the first time, this platform was created to give genuine people just like you an opportunity to share a portion of your life's journey. So, with that being said, on this episode, I have returning guest Ms. Carla Turner on with me when she talks about her upcoming book and her passion for sharing gems of knowledge to those who need direction to help them navigate through life. So, you don't want to miss this inspiring conversation today. As a matter of fact, do me a favor go and grab your husband, your wife, your children, or even call a friend and gather around to listen to my conversation with Carla on let's Just Talk About it podcast. Hey, let's jump right in. I have one of my favorite returning guest, MS Carla Turner, on with me. So, Ms. Carla, thank you so much for being back on let's just talk about it podcast.

Carla: 1:04

I'm glad to be back on.

Chuck: 1:06

Yep, thank you. The reason why I wanted to have you back on is because I believe you are a brilliant thinker, Ms Carla, you're very creative, and so I wanted to, you know, kind of pick your brain so me and the listeners can hear how you think and see. You know how you see this, this culture, from your perspective. So, you know, there's a quote that I love by Howard Thurman, where he says don't ask yourself what the world needs, ask yourself what makes you come alive and go do that. So I want to start off with that. What's the one thing that, when you open your eyes in the morning, that you get motivated?

Carla: 1:45

Well, look, I thought that was the reason I was on the show. You know, that's what motivates me. Let's talk about it. Let's talk about it.

Chuck: 1:55

Do you?

Carla: 1:56

Yeah, shout back to you, let's talk about it. That's what motivates me. Communication motivates me when I wake up. You know, who can I talk to today? Who can I encourage today? My thing is not only who can I encourage, who is going to encourage me, how can I put myself in the path to be enlightened? And my thing is, when you're looking for enlightenment, you can already have a preconceived notion or a preconceived form of where that enlightenment may come from. That enlightenment might come from a little child. I work with preschool students all the way up to high school, and so you just have to be open. You know it. Even you know I ain't gonna lie to you Back in the day, back in the day, it's so different. It's so different back in these days. But back in the day, you know, you used to be able to walk past the corner store and, yeah, you might see the. You know the wine hole at the corner store on the corner. But I will tell you this, for some reason, even the wine holes had a word. You know, I had a friend that say, a broken clock is right twice a day, and so you got to keep your ears out. You just never know where that nugget may be coming from. You don't know. And you know what me I like to collect nuggets and I like to share them, and so that's what makes me come alive collecting nuggets and sharing them.

Chuck: 3:24

Wow, sharing, yeah, being a service, so to speak.

Carla: 3:28

Yeah, I think it's this you can't hoard all the nuggets you're supposed to. When God gives you some wisdom and some enlightenment, to me it's a disservice to hoard it. You're supposed to give that thing out, so it'll multiply, so it's out there being exponential. And so, yes, that makes me come alive Good information and being able to give it out.

Chuck: 3:53

I love that, I love that. So, carl, I believe that there are two dominant personalities in the world, which are givers and takers. You know, takers take, take, take. And givers, they give, give, give. So which one of you?

Carla: 4:09

Oh man, let me tell you something Pretty much so a giver, and I'll tell you why. A giver, you always going to get that, oh wow. Let me tell you something about a taker. A taker may think that they have an advantage, but once somebody figures out what you are, eventually it runs out. So, being a giver, I think it is a model of the ultimate giver, which is God. And one thing I know about the ultimate giver he never runs out. So I know I'm not going to run out.

Chuck: 4:42

So let's go here. It's 2024. So 2024. What do you see yourself in the next six months? You know what I mean. Like I know, in the beginning of the year, people plan. You know you got New Year's resolutions, you know. So what do you see yourself in the next six months?

Carla: 5:01

Well, in the next six months I am working on a book and I would love to be in the final stages of completing that book so that I can do exactly what we're doing now. I can have conversations, some of the ideas that I have, some of the things that I want to share, just from life experience, just from observation. This book has been on my heart for oh my goodness Let me think I want to say all my life, but then that might not sound right. It's been on my heart strong, but at least the last, maybe 10 years, and so I really want to get this book and I'm writing a movie that's not a companion to the book, but just so we can have some good conversations. What I found is that you can have some really great conversations centered around literature and centered around written text. You can have some great conversations centered around movies, and so that's what I hope comes out of the two projects that I'm personally working on. So, conference, let's talk about it. You know what I'm saying. You started it, let's talk about it.

Chuck: 6:11

Let's talk about it.

Carla: 6:11

You started it.

Chuck: 6:13

Yeah, I love good conversation too. I love to hear how people think because, like you said, you can learn. You can pretty much learn from anybody you know. Wow, so you see yourself writing a book and doing the movie.

Carla: 6:27

Oh yes, I started. I've already started writing the book. I've already started writing the movie. I'm excited. I'm excited. One of the things that I've just kind of been looking at, I guess I think the pandemic made everybody kind of introspective. It made everybody kind of introspective.

Chuck: 6:47

Look at it yourself. Yeah, okay, talk about it.

Carla: 6:51

And I realized that there were things that I had learned that were probably generational, that it was never useful. It was a way of thinking, a way of operating that was never useful, or that was useful for a season, but it's not going to serve me in the season I'm walking into. And a lot of times I mean those are the things you know. Anytime you say, oh well, that's just the way I am. What you're really saying is I'm stuck and you know. There's one thing I'll share is I used to tell my students I used to think a lot about my students. I taught middle school. I love teaching eighth grade To me. They own a verge of babies going to grownups and it's a time when, if they have the right influences, they really can begin to think about their lives Early, early man, and they can say I'm grown. So this is what I started doing in my class. I said I bought in a bunch of bananas and I showed them the bananas and I said okay, what can you tell me about a green banana? And they say it's not ready, it's not right. Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. I said okay, yellow banana, that's a right banana, right right. And I said, well, after the right, what happens? You know, it gets all the little brown spots turning, start turning brown. They were like yeah, ooh, I said really. I said, well, listen, when you're a grown, you like a brown banana. And if you're a brown banana, what's the next stage after brown? They all looked at me. They were like yeah, I said yeah. I said that's why y'all see all these adults around here walking around there, because they're walking around yelling they grown, they grown, they grown. I say, as for me, I'm still growing, I'm green, I'm a green banana. As long as I'm still trying to learn and grow, I can stay green. But as soon as I adopt a mindset where I'm grown, I'm grown. The next stage after that is death, which I won't. The class kind of looked at me and every time I heard of kids I don't know, you can't tell me I'm grown. I was just a little. I said I'm a banana. They be like I'm sorry, I mean I'm growing, I'm growing. Yes, correct yourself.

Chuck: 9:05

Yes, yeah. So many kids are rushing today just to get older and they miss a lot. You know, you miss those growing spots.

Carla: 9:16

They miss a lot because actually it ain't the kids, man, it ain't the kids. So, come on, who is it? Who is it? It ain't the kids, it's these fast tailed adults trying to get people. I don't know if they roster. It's these fast tailed adults who, to me, are not teaching children how to be children, because for the most part, a lot of them weren't able to be children. And that's what I mean by unlearning some things. You need to get to a place where you're like you know what. There's some things I need to unlearn, yeah, yeah, and the way we try to mature our children too fast, especially as it relates to romantic relationships. You know, you got kids, y'all are 5 and 6. What you know about a boyfriend and girlfriend? You're bad, you're 6. What you know about that? And really it is the over-romanticizing. It's adults over-romanticizing little kids, putting them into adult situations way before they're ready, even teenagers, way before they're ready, and so I feel like it's adults. If you teach a child how to be a child, it can be a child. Now, at the same time that you're teaching them how to child, you have to envision OK, that is a kid, that's a 9-year-old, but where do I want this child to go. What do I want this child to look like at 18? And you're preparing that 9-year-old to be 18, while that 9-year-old is able to be 9, if that makes sense.

Chuck: 10:40

Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah.

Carla: 10:42

Wow.

Chuck: 10:43

You mentioned something about the pandemic. You know it taught you how to look introspective right. So a lot of mental illness, a lot of you know anxiety came out of that. You know that situation that people are dealing with today as we speak. You know depression and anxiety. So I know we discussed this before. What would you say to a person that's still dealing with that anxiety, that depression, right now?

Carla: 11:13

You know, first you got to check your belief system.

Chuck: 11:17

OK, all right.

Carla: 11:18

First you got to check your belief system. And if your belief system is set up like that, if you got an EO or I only you know now I'm dating myself. I'm talking about what's his name Christopher Robinson. What a little Winnie the Pooh had that little EO All right, if you got, if you have an EO or type you know belief system, that's pretty much where you're going to be at. All right, I mean, I don't know how to talk you out of that. If you are ascribing to a belief system based on Jesus Christ. It says cash your cares and cash your burden. Right. It says search me. I think that's what's on 139. Search me, and know my anxious thoughts. Wow, right. And so I would say Start with your belief system. Start with your belief system. Got you All right. Start with your belief systems and say, ok, what is it that I am not believing that God can do? What am I doubting that God can do? I promise you this the antidote to all of that is knowing knowing who you are in Christ and knowing what you are. Now, that's not simple. I'm going to tell you that's not simple because most of us has spent a lot of our lives with people telling us who we're not.

Chuck: 12:38

That goes back to that generational thing.

Carla: 12:41

That goes back to that generational thing, and then it goes back to the self talk us, telling us what we're not man, you done named it and it is inconsistent with who God says we are. So check your belief system. Pray about it. Ok, because this is one of the things during the pandemic, because I think we all had a chance to set angle Right. You know, your grandmother told you to have a come to Jesus meeting with yourself. That was for herb at it. It was a come to Jesus meeting for herb at it for a year. Ok. And so we can pray for so many things houses, cars, promotions, money, a boo we can pray for all of that. But we can't say, ok, god, there are some things about me that I don't know about me. All right, there are some things that are holding me back. There are some ways, some thinking patterns that are keeping me from moving forward to have the life that really is life that you talk about. You talk about abundant life. You know I'm out here, you know, as my pastor says, OK. I'm out here surviving when I should be thriving, but it's because it's something holding me back and I don't know what it is. And so that's how that's where my prayer began, like, ok, god, search me. Like, forget them, forget all the people I can name. You know, in the past or in the present, why I feel I'm holding me back.

Chuck: 14:04

OK, what's going on with me? Me, yeah, start with me first.

Carla: 14:08

And with that unpacking, here's what I will say too when God starts unpacking you, he's never going to do it in isolation. All right, never, is it my friend group? Is it some negative family members?

Chuck: 14:23

Social media.

Carla: 14:25

Is it social media? Do I need to?

Chuck: 14:28

get all.

Carla: 14:29

He'll start talking to you like OK, and then he'll start connecting you with people to answer those questions. He'll start having you read things that will. I'll tell you I'm going to go ahead and get all of the books that I read, all right, because they are worth finding out. Ok, I would have every person read this book, particularly high schoolers. If I was still a teacher, I would teach this book in high school. It's called Relational Intelligence by Dr Darius Danes. Relational Intelligence Because we on Facebook we got 1,800, 5,000 friends and ain't nobody a friend. I saw a parent.

Chuck: 15:11

Real friends.

Carla: 15:11

I said, yeah, the child didn't have any crayons. The child didn't have any crayons and couldn't do the homework. But I'm looking on your page and you got 5,000 friends Nobody had a crayon. You couldn't hit nobody on Facebook Messenger and say, listen, my kid got homework. Can I get a box of crayons? All these friends, all these friends, and lights, and lights, but I can't get no crayons. Oh, this is a problem. Let me tell you something If I call you friend, I expect more of you.

Chuck: 15:44

I expect, so we got to read the five from then.

Carla: 15:47

Yeah, but you know what? What I love about the book is it breaks it down into friends, acquaintances, mentors and assignments, and I think one of the reasons why you really have to know what category people fall in, truthfully, oh, that's worth talking about, you know it's worth talking about. It's so you don't have unrealistic expectations of people who don't even know you're expected. They don't even know they're your friend and they have let you down, but they don't even know they're your friend and don't even know they've let you down because they didn't. There wasn't a definition, there wasn't clarification. We don't talk about it, we just slap a title up there and we have internal expectations that we never articulate. And so that book more than ever. And it's OK to have an acquaintance, it's OK to have acquaintances you have known forever. They are data people you know. You say, hey, you see them, but you don't give them your business. Ok, you don't give them your business, all right, you see them and you're able to work in that space and that time. Enjoy what that relationship has.

Chuck: 17:06

After that, it's over.

Carla: 17:08

Well, no, not necessarily that it's over After that. You know what it's like. A bus stop, ok, this is Nat man, y'all. I'm barring it from somebody I read I don't even know, so let me just give a disclaimer. It's Nat man, ok, but it's like a bus on your bus, Like I know who's on my bus, all right, I got a friend in my metaphorical bus. I have a friend who she worked the front. Ok, if people come on my bus, they need to be vetted. I can say you know, this is how this person is, this is who this person is. Now, your friends don't never leave your bus. They always on your bus, all right, your immediate family, those people that you are caring for, they're on your bus. Now. Dumb people, now I done found it dumb, the people sometimes that media ones are. They can be disruptive on the bus, but praise God for them. Friends on the bus, cause they helping, pray for them. Families on the bus. That wasn't a sad. I got people who worked my exit, that emergency exit, I don't know. Did you ride the bus when you were in school?

Chuck: 18:10

Yeah, you know they used to have that bus during the rain. Yeah, on the back.

Carla: 18:14

Jump on the back Like the two, yeah, yeah, the two strongest people. They open the door up the up the bus. You need some friends like that. You need some friends who can see people like that, right, that person right there. They need to come off your bus. You know you need to exit that person and see. These have to be people you trust, all right. And then you have people you pull up to the bus. Stop, that's those acquaintances. They get on your bus, they ride, but there's a time where they get off your bus. Now if you make one of those people who were acquaintances a friend that stays on your bus, you gotta tell them you not holding hostages. You have to say, hey, listen, I've noticed that you have some qualities in a friendship that I really would appreciate as part of my life. You really have to sit down and be serious. Okay, that's probably why I like our real relationships are that serious, because we ain't really having serious conversation. You know what they ain't doing, chuck. You know what they ain't doing. They ain't talking about it, they ain't talking about it. And so you have to be able to have that type of criteria. If you look at Jesus, you look at Jesus ministry here how many disciples, 12. How many inner circle people did he have that he took to the Mount of Transfiguration? Three. He ain't taking everybody, he ain't saying everybody come, he took three. And so sometimes you can have friends, but your close friends, your intimate friends, your friends that listen, they can go further. They can go further. They can see you in your role, in your natural state. Yes, I mean, I got friends. Who is like, listen, I feel a little spirit, I'm about to snap a neck. You know what I'm saying. I'm not like and I ain't playing like this could be a bell money call, but I'm calling you on the front end.

Chuck: 20:13

Got you, got you.

Carla: 20:15

And those are the friends who pour back into you and pray and take you seriously, like, okay, carla, they won't expose you. Yeah, they won't expose you, and normally you are pretty cool, but I could tell you this is bothering you. Like this real stuff. This has really happened. I call one of my friends. I'm like listen, the receptionist at the doctor's office plucked my last nerve outside right now. Get ready to go in. We got a knife. I'm getting ready to go in. And she was like Carla, you know, I just don't think that's a good idea.

Chuck: 20:49

You were going back. I got to give my call.

Carla: 20:52

Yeah, you don't need that friend. Good, that's right. I would tell her no, you don't need that friend. You need a friend that's going to speak some wisdom to you. You know what I'm saying? That understands the script should be angry. But seeing that, let me help you send that. Get back in your car, put your seatbelt on and go ahead home and so, yeah, being able to evaluate those relationships. Yeah, that's why I'm so excited about the book that I'm writing in six months. It's called Do it Right, ok, reclaiming sex and sensuality. Let me spell that. Talk about it. Sensuality for Jesus Christ.

Chuck: 21:30

OK.

Carla: 21:30

And just kind of talking about that space, about intimacy and about because, listen, I have found that I'm going to ask you that where they come from. You know where it came from. Ok, the church ain't talking about it. The church ain't talking about it. We got kids out here and we willing to watch it. We got kids out here navigating dating and romantic relationships with no guidance and we ridicule them, we point fingers and it's like we want them to go and experience all that foolishness and then come back and sometimes some of them kids never make it back. They never make it back into the house of God and it's like that's because there's not instruction in that area, where we talk about sex and we talk about sensuality and we talk about intimacy, because everything contrary to what's on television is not romantical. Everything ain't romantical. Well, you look at that, you know, even when you find yourself in a romantic relationship. I was talking to some young people because that's what I do and that's what I want. I want some of the conversations that I have with young people in this book and one of the conversations I talked to them is about the 1 over 24 rule, when we're talking about relationships and how we're going to look at them, and I say listen, let me be honest with you. This is real honest. Look, if this part get cut off, get edited out, I'm OK.

Chuck: 23:04

I'm OK, go for it OK.

Carla: 23:06

The 1 over 24 is this Is that if you talk about sex covenant, sex covenant, we talk about covenant sex marriage.

Chuck: 23:17

I don't want nobody getting confused. You think I'm going to covenant sex.

Carla: 23:21

Oh yeah, we're going to.

Chuck: 23:22

We're talking about covenant sex. Let's talk about it go.

Carla: 23:25

OK, let's get somebody out on a good day. And let me be honest For all the married people out there, it ain't happening no hour. Ok, yeah, y'all can be watching these television. Y'all do realize that television shows are 30 minutes.

Chuck: 23:39

That's what they know how for.

Carla: 23:40

OK, they got 30 minutes. And then you get commercials. So you're looking at a good 22 minute show. They cutting out, making you think that it's been all that time lapse. So let's be real. That's television, guys. Let's stop it All right. So 1 over 24 is 4% of your day. An hour out of 24 hours is 1% of your day. So we're going to be realistic. Let's give it 30 minutes. I think I'm being generous. Ok, y'all can sit here and brag about whatever, but let's be generous. So 30 minutes divided by 24 hours is 2% of your day. Why would you base your relationship on something you only going to do 2% of the time?

Chuck: 24:23

Wow.

Carla: 24:24

If you focus on what you'll be doing the other 98%, it makes the other 2% even better. And so if you focus on talking about your finances, talking about your dreams, working going to the grocery store, you're going to spend more time going to the grocery store than you in here, in here, in here, in here, I got you.

Chuck: 24:44

You might as well have time in it.

Carla: 24:45

You might as well have a good time in the grocery store. Yeah, If you look at the divorce rate, yeah, I feel like my numbers are substantial and so I feel like it's a great book to. I want to get it on paper and so it's not moving Sometimes the conversation moving. You know people would be misquoting, but if you put it in a book it'll stay still and we just refer back to what I said on page 15. That's what I meant. What I said on page 15.

Chuck: 25:17

So, yeah, so you said within this year you could have it out, or you plan on just finishing it up.

Carla: 25:24

I want to finish it up. I would love to finish it up and have it out. I would love to have it out because I want to be able to have conversations along the way. So, some of this information, I would rather have conversations. Yeah, we will talk about everything. Music, what y'all looking at, I look, I go back to the word of God Do not envy the wicked and choose none of their positions. I mean ways, what y'all looking at, and then I mean, ok, so then you know, if that's not something that is going to be indoors, then we still got to give people correct information and I feel like correct information can be given without going there. I've seen, I've heard it said and sent, but we've seen young couples there Because we feel like we have nothing to say or we're too embarrassed, and so I feel like, hey, you know, listen, god created it. And it says let the old women teach the young women. We supposed to be talking about it.

Chuck: 26:22

Yeah, because if you're not talking about it, anything seems right.

Carla: 26:27

Anything seems right and I really believe if we're talking about it, we can address a lot of trauma. My mom told you that generation and stuff so a lot of things that have been being told to young women and young men is coming out of generations of trauma. And so what somebody else experienced as a young girl, you are being, you're being raised up in it and it's causing some apprehension because something traumatic happened in someone else's life and instead of either addressing it or getting right education on it, you teach it to the next. You teach it to the next, and it's based off fear or based off a traumatic incident, and so that's part of it too Getting some healing and getting whole. And to me, that's an area the enemy attacks the most and where we need to make sure that we get the most healing. You experience life through all of your senses your, your ass, your sense of smell, your sense of touch, your sense of take. You experience the world, and I'm not just talking about sex, I'm talking about intimacy, and then I'm in the reason that there's a focus on sensuality. Your five senses is you can corrupt those two and those fact the things that you hear, the things that you see, can impact the way that something is supposed to be expressed, and so it's like garbage in, garbage out. If you consume enough things through those senses and you're trying to have this covenant relationship according to the way God designed it, it's hard to do that if you get that stuff coming in from those senses. In Genesis it says be fruitful and multiply. Now this is Kala and I feel strong. You know this is Kala and I don't. I feel like. You know, when I say things, I pray about them, I read about them. But when it says multiply, we're talking about children. When it says fruitfulness, we're talking about those fruits of the spirit and galatians, five, 22 to the 24. Your sex is supposed to be producing that. It's supposed to be producing peace. It's supposed to be producing love, joy, gentleness, kindness Watch this one Self control. And so if it's not producing that, then it means it's producing the opposite, and so we get into a lot of problems when it is producing the opposite of what it's supposed to be producing. You know the opposite of what peace is irritation. So if what's coming out of your intimate life is restlessness and conflict and hate and misery and meanness, and you know harshness, then you might want to check that. If that's what's coming out of your intimate relationship, oh, you need to check that.

Chuck: 29:22

Got you. Yes, good conversation, miss Carla, good conversation. That's why I wanted to have you on to see how you think, man, because we live in a world that's um, that's like running wild man, so need to hit some, um, some positive things coming coming from. You know good conversations, so you never know who's listening. So I want to ask you this question If you could go back, miss Carla, to that younger Miss Carla, what would you say to her to prepare her for today?

Carla: 29:53

If I went back to that younger Miss Carla, you know I don't think there's anything that I could have said. I don't think that there's anything, and I'm going to tell you why. I think that one of the things that I noticed when I was younger was the kids need like I needed that person and so I became that person I needed. But I would have never become the person I needed had I never not needed that person For a long time. You know I was frustrated, like right right right. You know why. Why don't? Why? Why isn't someone? I got married when I was 17.

Chuck: 30:42

Okay.

Carla: 30:43

Why isn't someone talking? Why aren't okay, that was in church. Like, why aren't the people coming to talk to me? Like why, why?

Chuck: 30:49

aren't there you really thought that, you really, you actually thought that yes.

Carla: 30:53

Yes, like I thought that when I got married, some people would come talk to me Like I wanted to be the best wife, like my son. I had a son and I wanted to be the best mom. You know, I am grateful for the books because I'm I'm a reader and so I'm grateful for the books that I read. I'm grateful for the ministries that had marriage fellowships, but I wanted that person. I wanted that one on one. And it's like you know, even as a young person coming up and navigating romantic relationships, like I wanted someone to be transparent. And not only did I want someone to be transparent, because I ain't gonna lie, I come from a family that's very transparent. But some of the stuff they transparent about you, you're part of them generation of things trying to get off, but it's. I had an education, but I can't tell you what kind of, I can't tell you what kind of gate that are open to education.

Chuck: 31:57

So you was actually waiting for somebody to come say hey, go this way, do it like this. You were longing for that, so you became what you didn't get.

Carla: 32:06

I became what I didn't get. And let me tell you, I've taught kids. They want it, they want it so bad. They want someone to say, no, stop that, don't do that. They want someone. Let me tell you, I taught public school and I taught in. I taught in jail, junior, junior jail. These kids were locked up, okay, and I love God. So, yeah, sometimes you know you, you you in public school, I don't work in them. I guess I can say what I need to say right, okay, I don't work in them. And you know you get a lot of pressure not to talk about religion. You talk about everything else. But let me tell, let me be honest, you can talk about other religious practices, you just can't talk about Christianity. There's a lot of pressure not to talk about Christianity and so, but there's so many good Christian principles and the way I got around that, because I am my kids new, any boy, any kid who knows me, they like yuck. They don't even have to be following my religion to know yuck, she love Jesus. I used to say my grandmother said so, everything I wanted to tell them that came from the Bible. My grandmother said I say you know guys, my grandmother said everything that's permissible ain't beneficial. Everything you can do and might be legal to do you doesn't necessarily mean you should do it. And we did this whole lesson where we talked about it because I'm teaching kids who are locked up. And that thing made sense Like, yeah, that was I could do it, but should I do it? Some of the things you need to ask yourself before you end up here. And one of the little boys came. He came from the pod because when you in junior jail you sleep there to um. He said, miss Turner, your mother, that thing, your grandma, my? Said I was reading the Bible last night and I found it. I said what? And it was like I mean seeing him make that connection. Yeah, yeah, All you got to do in life and I told you, the thing that makes me wake up, is the thing that makes me alive is that all you got to do is drop a seed. Sometimes you might not be the water and you may never see the harvest, but you can never get a harvest if you never plan a seed Never plan.

Chuck: 34:33

Yeah, that's deep, miss Carla, what you said, man. You became what you didn't get. You know, when you were longer for that. That stuck out to me, man, because sometimes you look at kids a day and, um, I guess what's going on in the world? Murder and so forth. You would think that they don't want any direction, but I guess that's why they joined games, because they do want what Direction from somebody.

Carla: 34:55

They do, they do, they do, they do. And you know, I know it's scary sometimes dealing with these kids. It is what it is, but I'll never forget one time Because you know I mean, listen, what greater love is there than for a friend to give up his life for another? And I'm home with a little boy. He was like you know, miss Turner, you know I love you and everything. But if the OG said, you know, I got a, and I said, well, baby, you can't take a life that don't belong to you. Oh, this right, this flesh, this, I mean I don't even need this, but you can't. And my thing is that type of boldness that we have to have when we approach and people like we have to be so assured of who we are, like that that don't scare us, that that don't back us down, and it's like that didn't back me down and it's like, and I wasn't mad with them, I was like I was, it was, it was kind of a matter of that conversation Like this, doesn't? You can't take something that doesn't belong my life doesn't even belong to you Amazing.

Chuck: 35:57

So you are a director and you have a role in a play right, man, I'm doing a couple projects.

Carla: 36:06

I ain't gonna need Lati All right.

Chuck: 36:07

So yes, let me give shout out to all the projects. You're a serial entrepreneur.

Carla: 36:15

That's how you keep busy. You might almost say the idol man is the devil workshop. I be trying to make sure I ain't studying some old stuff. I ain't got a room for that. I ain't got a room for that. It's a room for that. Oh, yes, oh, my goodness, I've had such an amazing 2023. I'm looking forward to doing more of this in 2024. There was a play that I was in for 10 years yes, as the mom for the Harah players. So in December I directed that show and it was amazing, working with the children and the adults. So I'm directing right now a production for the Harah players that will open the weekend of February 16th. It's called Path to Freedom. It was written by their talented young man, corey Staten, who is a local writer here to the Hampton Roads area yes, shout out to Corey Corey of Clear Vision Edutainment. And so I'm so excited to be directing his play for the Harah players.

Chuck: 37:23

What is the Harah?

Carla: 37:24

Okay, the Harah players are a family theater company that's located in Norfolk, virginia, and so family theater means they just don't do children, they don't just don't teach children, they also teach and work with and have productions for both children and adults, with a focus on content that is family-friendly, and so I'm excited about that. I am currently in Raising in the Sun. This is the role that has pushed me the most Currently in Raising in the Sun at the Virginia Beach Little Theater, playing the role of Mama Lena, and that has been very exciting. That show runs through February 11th. February 11th is the last show, so it's every weekend until February 11th.

Chuck: 38:20

So how is that going? You know what I mean. Do y'all sell out or whatever? You know how it's going.

Carla: 38:25

Let me tell you something Two of y'all can come to the show, but you can't sit together. I looked at the tickets. Most of the shows are sold out and where there are seats, there may be like four, but none of them are together. And so, yeah, the shows are basically sold out, but get on the waiting list. They keep a waiting list in case the people who have tickets to those shows decide they're okay, we can't come, or something. So if you still want to see Raising in the Sun, it's an amazing cast, amazing cast and so directed by Sharon Cook who is shout out to Sharon.

Chuck: 39:05

Shout out to Sharon.

Carla: 39:06

Yes, she's directing and Raising in the Sun, and currently she's getting ready to also produce Black Girl Magic, which is directed by my sister, jennifer Kelly Cooper, and Sharon is getting ready to direct a show called Chicken and Biscuits Wow. But other than stage, which I love, I've been doing a lot of film projects. So let me just shout out my little film. Let me shout out my film projects real quick. I just finished rapping on one two days ago. I'm excited to see how that turns out, and I partner with two other ladies. It's called BAB Productions and I'm excited about what we are working on. We just wrapped up episode four. We do many. It's a mini series and so there are many shorts, and it's about three women who get into the business of acting after what the business says is an age. You end up getting all the roles as old ladies and all of that, and so it chronicles our auditions and our jobs.

Chuck: 40:20

I take behind the scene type of thing.

Carla: 40:22

Well, not really behind the scenes, because we're writing it. We're writing it as realistic, but it's like addressing some of the ageism that exists in film as it relates to women. At a certain age, you age out of certain roles and just how that impacts you and people forget you. Yeah, when people forget you or you always plan Old ladies. We have some really funny episodes where we're modeling geriatric clothes because that's the job we get. But writing with these ladies is a lot of fun.

Chuck: 41:01

It's a lot of fun, so you're going to get Corey and Sharon to come on. Let's just talk about it. Podcast, right, that's what you said.

Carla: 41:08

Let me tell you something. Let me tell you something Corey and Sharon would love to come on, let's talk about it. Yes, vab would love to come on, let's talk about it. Listen, because you know what, chuck, we just like to talk about it.

Chuck: 41:24

Let's make it happen.

Carla: 41:25

Yeah, let's make it happen.

Chuck: 41:27

Wow, shout out to you, ms Carla.

Carla: 41:30

I had a great time, as always.

Chuck: 41:33

Wow, I appreciate it, man. You are a brilliant mind and very creative, very active, and so I love to have those conversations with you just to see what you're up to, just to see how you're thinking, you know.

Carla: 41:46

Yes, sir, a little, anytime, anytime.

Chuck: 41:50

So if people want to come to your place, check out your film, how could they read you?

Carla: 41:56

OK, so to check out the film, vab Productions has a YouTube channel. I guess that's the best way to check us out. We also have a Facebook. So if you go to VAB, it's called Winnie Meenieman, because you might get some foolishness, and if you get some foolishness, you're on the wrong page. Ok, you're on the wrong page, all right, it's called VAB on three productions, and so we have a YouTube channel. You can also see it on Carla Kelly Turner, my Facebook group, all of that. Those are things that are just public. Up there To come see the show, hey, you can go online. Look up Virginia Beach Little Theater and there's all types of ticket information up there. Please come out to see Path of Freedom. You can get your tickets for Path of Freedom on Hora Players website H-U-R-R-A-H Players website. So go ahead, google that, go to the website, get your tickets for Path to Freedom. I'm excited about that show, path to Freedom. It's about let me tell you what it's about. It's about Black history is herbatic, history, yes, herbatic. And so, yeah, and what I love is about that the show is inclusive. It talks about how important everybody is and how you know one thing that you can learn from African-American and I ain't going to go too long, because let me tell you something, chuck. Let me tell you something, chuck, give me a mic. Give me a mic. You got to cut off, but you got to cut me off. You got to play some of that Oscar music, that rap.

Chuck: 43:49

But outro outro. You know what I'm saying. You got to play some of that.

Carla: 43:52

you know I don't fail my second win.

Chuck: 43:56

I got you.

Carla: 43:57

You know. But what I love about it is this is that the African-American story is a story of resiliency, and I don't care who you are, what walk of life you come from, what ethnic group, you learn something about resiliency and hope when you look at the story of African-Americans who came to this country, either on you know slave ships, or they came on, or they came as free men here, because there were people who were not slaves who came to this country, and so you learn a story about resiliency and brilliance. Yeah, and let me tell you something, and believing in yourself, sometimes it ain't what other people think about you, it's what you think about you. You know what I'm saying. That's the story that matters. It matters the narrative that you're telling yourself, and so I'm excited about that.

Chuck: 44:58

Powerful, it's always. I really appreciate you. I didn't have any outro music, but you know, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha ha ha. I really appreciate you being on. It's always Ms Carla man, just as I stated, to hear how you're thinking, to see what you're up to, and, man, I look forward to the next time.

Carla: 45:21

I love it. I look forward to the next time too.

Chuck: 45:23

Absolutely Appreciate you being on.

Carla: 45:26

All right, I appreciate you.

Chuck: 45:27

Absolutely Wow. What an amazing conversation. Shout out to my friend, carla for having this dialogue with me. You know, one of the things that stuck out to me about this conversation is how important it is for us to really bring back that precious gift call communication, because how can we know what's on a person's mind unless we talk about it? How can we solve a simple problem unless we talk about it? How can we know how brilliant a person is unless we sit down first and talk about it? So, hey, let's bring the art of effective communication back Again. Thank you so much for tuning in to let's Just Talk About it podcast, and please check out my website. Just Google let's Just Talk About it podcastcom and then hit that subscribe button to receive all the new episodes every Friday. You can also find me on Facebook. Just type in Chuck LJTAI, which means let's Just Talk About it. So, as always, until next time, don't hold it in, but let's just talk about it. Talk to you soon.